I am a single mother of two, never being married… I’ve had a couple of failed relationships that left me indecisive about marriage even when I keep getting suitors month in, month out.
The truth is my two children are for different men, however, I am no longer with these two men. The first man is not even in my child’s life, I cut him off totally because of the unfortunate incidence which led to the pregnancy.
The second man is however very much involved in his child’s life. Takes care of her and loves her. I used to love him but things didn’t work out.
Recently, I met someone else. He wants to marry me. At first, I didn’t believe it was possible for someone to truly want me with all these baggage. Yet I have seen differently with this man. No man, not even the ones I loved with my life ever showed me love this pure.
He’s not after my money, cos I don’t have any.
It’s not the beauty for I’m just passably pretty.
He loves my kids to bits and already wants to adopt my first child, I told him the second child was off limits!
Wonders, I am not even sleeping with him – yet.
Now there is a problem…we were discussing marriage and I told him that I would want to be fully responsible for my children when we marry.
I don’t want him to be involved in any financial responsibility that has to do with them.
When I have his kids, fine… But as for these ones, I will be responsible.
He disagreed and we fought for the first time. According to him, it simply means I do not trust him.
It also means I do not love him.
I tried to make him see my reasons but he is beyond reasoning with me.
“I want all of you… You, your kids, everything that is You” those were his words.
Truth is : I am scared. I have trust issues. My trust has been abused severally. I’m afraid one day he’ll wake up and taunt me with everything.
I’m afraid one day he’ll get tired and that might cause some tension.
I don’t even want the kids to live with us at least for the first year, but he says we all move together from day one.
Please advise me, is there a man out there who would do this without looking back or mocking you at the slightest provocation in future?
I can take care of my kids on my own.
I work hard and I will work more…
He thinks it’s pride, but I’m just scared.
Please talk to me, are my fears baseless?
Should I hold my ground?
Please help… It’s been a tensed week for me trying to decide.